Lazy Mondays...

There is seriously something in the air that is causing me to not be able to get crap off my mind. However there is good news... In sticking with my belated resolutions I cleaned out my car HARDCORE today. Like pulling the bench almost out of the car to get the stuff under the seat. Vacuum and all. Boom.....

Oh and there is a new addition to my belated resolution. Well I never looked back on my last post in regards to resolutions and all.... Anyways... I would really love to learn how to play a guitar. Preferably electric, but acoustic would be nice too. I hate not being talented at anything. So I will get a new hobby that will turn into mad skills. Haha. Just kidding. But seriously, I will learn how to play guitar this year.

My lazy Monday kind of helped me come to this conclusion among others :)

Casey and I ended up taking up a 3 hour nap today so my sleep schedule is a little off tonight. We are currently watching Family Guy, and I am wondering why every season there is a new episode about Stewie having a crush on some random baby girl. While in more recent seasons and older ones alike, he behaves as though he is gay. AND... Brian asked him if he was gay he said probably. Now he is in love with Brian Adams. This is all so confusing.
However I am sticking to another one of my resolutions and working out in the morning before class so I am getting off here.

Nightie Night readers or bored people who have nothing else to do online LOL

Right NOW.....

Listening to: Have Faith in Me ADTR.

What am I doing you ask:

Well I am chatting with some friends on Facebook and surfing the web as always. I have nothing better to do honestly. I am off tomorrow so I think I will try and work out a little bit. I don't know.

I do know I had another online assignment in History and feel like it is another A coming my way :)

I had no idea what to blog about tonight but I will say this....

I am 20 years old, in college, and work a part time job. I feel stressed and/or tired a majority of the time which is not indicative of the previous self description stated. What the hell is wrong with me?!

I woke up today and have been dizzy alllllllll day long. I ate, did everything as normal. Had just enough caffeine to get me through the day without a headache and for some reason still cannot shake it. What in the H?

Also I am currently wondering where my crazy sense of adventure went the past couple of years?! I should have a few more tattoos, another peircing, and blue and purple streaks in my hair right now and I have none of those!!! Just kidding, kind of, not really. I have wanted my hair to be dark brown with blue and purple streaks for like 6 years. As far as peircings I wanted to pierce my eyebrow for a while and have not done so because I was told that was the worst for scarring. Tattoo-wise I only have the treble clef, but still wanna put that pirate ship on my side and a baby chick on my shoulder next to my treble clef. Oh and an anchor on my foot.

All in all I am extremely bored, and other than Europe stuff, these are among the things I think about a lot.

I was also thinking about how I miss my Grandma Diane A LOT. Casey and I were talking about who made awesome eggs for some reason and I told him my grandma did. When I was younger my Grandpa made the only pancakes in the world in my opinion. I swore they were the biggest too!!! And my grandmother was the only person that could make me eggs. Or at least that is how I remember it. I like eggs okay, but for some reason I remember standing in the dining room at the big house (family house in Indy) and my 6 year old logic told me it was ok that Mamaw cooked because she was making eggs. She made eggs and Papaw made the pancakes. I honestly imagine I was a big pain in the butt knowing how I was as a child. But I still to this day remembering thinking I will only eat them if mamaw makes them the way papaw tells her to and that is why its ok to eat breakfast when mamaw cooks.

I ramble lol. You have to understand though that Papaw cooked. That is just how it went. BEST COOK EVER. My family back home knows that :)

(shout out.... lets see who is actually reading this thing LOL)

Oh and Casey is adorable. He is a big hairy mess of a man, but for some reason is still horribly adorable to me and I love him for that.

I AM hungry now though, because I spent a good five minutes typing this and rambling to Casey some more about food that my grandparents made and I am kind of irritated at myself, because unless I get up and cook it, there is no other way to get my aunt megans pot pie. Well mamaws because she told Megan how to make it LOL.

Rambles Schmambles. Sorry all...

Goodnight.

Now listening to: Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides --Pierce the Veil

(trying to see if I like them for a show in April) ((they are okay))

Saturday.... wooot

I checked my school info online tonight and my history proffessor posted the grades for our first major non-test assignment. I made an A. I am so excited. Being that I am a history major and all haha.
A friend I work with is leaving for Spain. She is taking her classes there this semester. Does it not sound like an awesome and exciting adventure? All for school. Think of if I could spend one of my last semesters in Europe, maybe just Italy and Germany to take in some history in regards to the World War II era. I want to teach history and focus mainly on that time period. So I thinking seeing all sides and how it affected the cultures and every day events of the masses would help to tell someone about it.

Nothing extremely exciting has happened today though. I cooked dinner tonight. Casey helped a little bit, and although it didn't taste horrible, it was not our best work ever. Usually when we team up and make dinner we rock that shit.

Oh wells. I am proud of myself though. I have this project in Bio that makes me track a weeks worth of my eating habits. Which suck by the way. So it is just another sign it would be a great time to edit those habits and work out a little more. I haven't snacked all day like usual. I even cut myself down to one portion of dinner. It filled me up. I had the equivelent of two bottles of water and I only had part of one soda. I plan on finishing it though lol. Cherry Dr. Pepper goodness. :)

Casey and Dusty and I are just hanging out and goofing off until we get to tired to see. I listen to my music and mess around on here while they play COD. Good times good times. Tomorrow little man goes home. I love spending time with him, but it makes me miss my little brother so super much.

Anyways I will leave it at that. Anyone that takes the time to read this or even find it for that matter and will probably have my facebook info so there is no need to elaborate more than I already have above when there is such a thing as instant messaging lol.

Byeeeeee (hahaha Hangover reference)

What's on My Mind

Recently a good friend posted on my facebook about how she has been thinking of the past couple years. All the changes we have made, all of the places people have gone. It has caused me to stop and reflect on the past couple of years myself. I have wonderful and fond memories of the past years, along with some less than awesome things I have gone through, dealt with, or done myself. My head has been so chocked full of stuff like that the past couple of days, even driving has become an issue.

It made me want to post, vent in a way. Because honestly those changes are what put me where I am. I look at my family and feel pride because I turned out to be an okay person I guess lol. I feel loss because I was extremely close to my grandfather and in April he will have been gone 9 years. I miss my parents a ton because they moved home while I am still here in TN. My brother is who I miss more than anyone. He is my life, other than school and Casey of course. Wow, honestly there is no order of priorities there haha, that made me seem like a craptastic sister but Bean is my world.

High school and the first year or two of community college for me are also on the list of things I have been looking back on. I had some friends I pray I do not run into at Wal-Mart these days. I was not into drugs or alcohol, but some of the people I hung out with were so I had to ditch that crowd. I let some people live in my apartment that stole, and lied. I lost touch with some of my high school friends that I loved like family.

I was also part of a church in the town I live in that is not of the same faith I was raised to believe in. None the less I broadened my horizons and open-minded-ness as far as my religious views. I gained some wonderful friends, some not so wonderful. I strengthened the strongest relationship I have other than Casey. I grew in the friendships I did have. But like any other institution founded upon lies and high school drama, religious or otherwise, I did not stay for too long. After a year or two I was done with drama and lies coming from a place I was supposed to see as a sanctuary.

The summer between senior year and freshman year of college my best friend got an apartment and I was soon after her neighbor. My best friend Bethany has since blessed me with a beautiful niece Riley Elizabeth who was born two days before my 19th birthday.

That same year Casey and I were doing our own thing and taking a break. During that time I relied heavily on the people I now consider to be my closest friends. This has also leaves a heavy note on my mind because I think of the people I hung out with and the crazy things I got into back in those days. Like I said before no drugs or anything but I met all kinds of people, saw all kinds of things and became a little more independent.

Soon after Casey and I pulled our heads out of our butts and as mentioned in previous posts things are wonderful and I am in love.

The past is still weighing heavily on my mind these days. I have been thinking a lot about things I wish I could change. About things that make me feel nothing shy of joy and happiness. Most of all though I think about where I can go from here with all the "results" from the past that I have been thinking about.

So many people are like "the past is the past" and yadda yadda (sp?) but it is part of what makes us who we are. I have flaws just like everyone else, physical, mental, however you call it. I just cannot seem to get these things off my mind and hope that in the coming days my brain will calm its jets so I can sleep. In the mean time I am trying to, in little ways, to grow and learn from all of the little bits floating around.

Ta Ta ladies and gents.

Belated Resolutions ect.

Aloha readers! I have all kinds of interesting and wonderful news. Some not so awesome news as well.... Anyways......

So last week I had my head in the books. Forgive me but it is only the start of term where I am from and I am trying to adjust to how each professor grades and their expectations and such. Followed by a weekend full of work, I did not have time for much else. However there have been a few things that have been a good day dream or mental escape at the end of my long days :)

NUMERO UNO:

For a while now my boyfriend Casey and I have been planning bits and pieces of our future trip to Europe. Summer 2012 we are going to travel through Europe for a month with some of our closest friends. I come home some nights and just read the reviews on come of the backpacks we may purchase. I look at other backpacker's itineraries to see another persons take on a month away. I am sooooo excited. It is going to take dedication in all parts of my life to prepare. Like a month of trekking the European countryside is physically taxing if you are not in shape. Thus one thing I will be spending my money on is a gym membership. Casey and I are really dedicated to this for our health but Europe will be the bonus :)

Another thing is being as economical and responsible with money as possible. We have set ourselves a budget and are looking at ways to save and cut back in all aspects of our life so that Europe will become a reality.

Lastly I think being more involved and appreciative of my friends and family that share in my goal. Casey and I are so excited for one another and our friends that this is what we have in store. It is the light at the end of a tunnel of an already stressful life as a college student. Money is tight. Homework is not something that you can make up for 10 points off LOL. Anyway.... yes I am so excited and thoroughly smitten with the idea that myself and my closest loves are all sharing in a month or so in Europe.

TWO-FER FOR YA

I got a free, brand new tire tonight. Long story short I had a blow out last night. I am safe and the damage to my wallet was not fatal (kind of). It still stands though that I had a blow out and because of a wonderful police officer spot light, everyone driving within a mile of my vehicle saw the MESS that is the back seat and trunk. I am very lucky and blessed though. He stayed with me, and to my pleasant surprise my wonderful boyfriend came to sit with me while we wait for the wrecker. Another great friend saw me and offered a ride and some company. After all of this, Casey's uncle Jon came and helped the best he could too. It made me realize how lucky I am.

Tonight when my best bud Brandon and I, with help of Jon, changed my tire he told me to come to his house and air it up for free. His dad had heard about my mishap and offered me a brand new tire. It was the right size and everything so I am stoked.

All of this made me swear to take better care of myself and my car. Almost like belated resolutions for this new year along with saving money as best I can.

I will say this for myself though, I had the funds needed when my emergency hit last night. And my phone was charged. I ran some errands to the Wal-Mart and only bought necessities. Not too hard though because I hate Wal-Mart more and more every day LOL. I am doing good so far and plan on doing my best to stick to all of my newly set goals.

Ciao Bella'

Balance

I am just finishing up another week of class, work, sleep and repeat. Its the same thing as last term, only adding a few more miles on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It does however bring into question balance and what it means to people. If you would have asked me last term, my first term as a freshman in college, heck three weeks ago how balanced my life was I would have laughed in your face. Something has happened to me though in the first couple weeks that has helped to put it all into a better focus. I have always been a huge fan of planners so I think mine has helped. There is something that comes to mind that Casey said to me over Christmas break; he told me having even one class at main campus makes it feel like hard core make or break you college. I laughed it off and didn't know what in the world he was talking about. Make or break.... HA.

Still not there, but there is definitely something about that campus, or maybe the freakishly ridiculous drive home at 5. I don't know what it is, but this term is going great.

A ton of this may be attributed to my move home, away from a stressful and toxic environment. Or work is more just like a comfortable place of employment than a hell hole I get paid to visit. Who knows.

Casey is home to entertain me now though, so this blog is cut off for now. However let me a add a little bit of joy to your night/day with this.....

(upper right lmao)

My Inspirations...

So I maybe stole this idea from my pal Chelsea, but I think it is a great idea. Mine is a little different from hers though. :)

First and foremost my biggest inspiration is my family. Mucho "cliche", I know, but every family has skeletons and drama and good times and bad times. It takes so many different qualities from strength, faith, a good sense of right and wrong, just to make it through the tough times families face from time to time. When I am hitting a wall with something that has bothered me for days I just think about how my grandmother, parents, other fam all get through things that are so much tougher and I know I can make it. Right is a picture of my Grandma Diane and my Aunt Megan. They are truly amazing.

Another person that inspires me is my wonderfully awesome Casey. My boyfriend of almost 3 years. He is a huge part of my support system and pushes me to give all I've got per say. Casey also makes me laugh, on occasion until I have peed myself. Hugely embarrassing if you ask me and he did so right after we started dating. He stuck around though, laughed it off, almost sounded like he felt as though he accomplished something to make someone laugh that hard LOL. Whoa.... side tracked. Sorry. My very favorite thing is that he includes me, my opinions, and my goals in his. We both understand that college comes first, even before one another. And we are totally ok with that. He and I also see college as a stepping stone in our life together as a couple and as part of our families. ( My family loves him, so he is a keeper)

I like everyone else at one point thought I was in love and ready for a life on my own, a few years later maybe add a family.... EWWWWW

But Casey has helped me grow, he helped me see all of the great things there are to see, do and accomplish with out worrying about someone thinking you are hot shit. He is right beside me in every step I take these days and I really love having someone to share the experience with

.

My friends are the people that are there for me in worst and help me through tough times, share in the best times. All of the stuff we can expect from only great friends. I am lucky enough to have some very best friends that are with us whenever the important stuff goes down. They are our witnesses, back up, audience, and sometimes our medicine. Sadly for the lack of photos on this computer, my post will not do them justice....

Well I don't think it will do my family justice either lol. Dang

Other things inspire me. I love color, and fashion, and all things that are girlie. I love putting things together. Seeing something come together or even better a final result of something I took the time to put together, build up, design is such an inspiration for me to push myself more and become more creative.

History, is another huge one for me. Not in the sense that I am cautious not to repeat it or any other silly nonsense like that, but in the way that there is always someone or something to look back to for an idea, or inspiration when we face something new, or maybe just something a little bigger than just ourselves. I love learning about things from our past. It sounds sooo nerdy, and maybe a little old0-lady-ish but I am ok with that. LOL

Make up in a small way is an inspiration. I love doing other people's make up. It lets me be creative. I can go wild, or make someone look like the classiest version of themselves. It is a blast. If I had the money and the time outside of school to invest in it I would truly love to go to school for Make Up Artistry and Design (idk if thats what its really called LOL). I do Chelsea's makeup a lot. Seeing what I can do on someone else is like seeing it on a canvas, or just a face that isn't mine LOL. Either way, hobby or not, it is so fun to me and something that pushes me to learn new things and succeed in all facets of my life. As lame as that may sound, it is all gravy with me.

There are so many things that I see or hear these days that make me stop and think. I would not call all of them inspirations, but maybe reminders that I have so much growing to do, so much more to see and do. Looking at something like facebook posts from family back home I see what I miss and it reminds me cherish any time with your loved ones that you get. School, as tough as it gets, reminds me that its a stepping stone on the way to a decent home and a family of my own after a few years of travel with Casey and our friends.

On a lighter note I was reminded that I am truly blessed that I was raised with enough sense not to push my mother around and hit her in the middle of Dicks Sporting Goods. Yes, you read correctly, some kid who was twice my size was running after his mother yelling "MOM MOM COME HERE G-D IT!!!!!" and then he pushed and hit her as she was walking out the door. I about lost it on him. But what can I do, for I am a cashier who is put on this earth to serve the customer to the best of my ability.....

My mamaw is at least a foot shorter and all of her children and the majority of her grandchildren. If one of us EVER tried to pull that crap on her we would be laid out on the floor in 7 seconds. It was horrible. I was sooo angry for her.

I am home now though, relaxing. Casey, Dusty and I played and 23 song set list on Rock Band 2. It took FOREVER and my hand hurts, but we conquered. I even played a majority of the songs on Hard level, which I have never been able to do. It was awesome. I am soooo pooped though so I think its bed time.

Ta Ta for now.

ATTEMPT TWO AT MY FRIDAY BLOG.... grrrr

I was currently trying to upload a picture of myself and my boyfriend Casey in accordance to the blog topic I chose to elaborate on this evening. I was borrowing a page out of a friends book and listing the people, places, and things that inspire me every day. I may try again sometime soon, but tonight is going to be just another blab fest because I get extremely irritated with things like pictures not wanting to upload.

Casey's brother Dusty came into town to spend the weekend with us. We are having a blast. I curled his hair so now he looks like a little Jewish boy. It is HILARIOUS. I spent last night hanging out with my pal Chels and we made a video of a makeup tutorial/us doing what we do every time we hang at her place lol. I had two early classes today and then did lunch with Brandon and James. Decent day, tired as hell. Will post pics more than likely just to facebook tomorrow. May post one of Dusty's hair on here though. Awesome stuff lmao.

Well ta ta for now. More tomorrow.

School Starts Again Tomorrow....

So tomorrow I start back for Spring term at Pellissippi. Woo Hoo lol

Seriously though it is the first time I will have classes at Hardin Valley. I went to my course webpages and such and I feel like I am waaaay in over my head with this English Comp class I am taking. But it is required so...

I am also excited. I have officially changed my major and have a semester of relatively interesting, and/or easy classes. Except, like I said, Eng 1020. I am willing to bust ass though. Hell I even made flash cards for Bio 2 for the weekly vocabularies my professor assigns. He is one of those professors that pushes you all term but in the end all your extra work pays off.

I feel like this term is my chance to branch out in small ways. Especially in regards to attending some classes at main campus. All of Casey's are up there. He has got to be the most driven person I know. It gives me something to compare too and look up to in a way. Wrong form of 'too' there. LOL, do not feel like correcting it lol.

I am super tired though, and will gladly tell all about my first day back and my first day at Hardin :)

But for the time being, Ta Ta.

I will also post updated pics and info since I haven't posted in forever. If nothing comes of this thing soon I may delete it, who knows?